


I Thought of You as a Father

by ToraTsuin



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Angst, chara deaths, like super angst i almost made myself cry editing it lmao, why is mana still mana walker we know his name wth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-05-02 18:33:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5259263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToraTsuin/pseuds/ToraTsuin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe he's just not meant to be happy. Maybe he really is cursed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Thought of You as a Father

Allen trembled as he knelt before Mana's grave, small and ten. He squeezes his cursed hand. Maybe he's just not meant to be happy. Maybe he really is cursed. Maybe that's why he lost his father.

"I'm sorry," He sobs, "I didn't mean for this..."

The Earl comes and makes his worst nightmares come true. Makes Allen even more miserable than he was before. Makes Allen to regret meeting Mana, not because he didn't love and enjoy his time with the man, but because Mana's life was better when _Allen_ was just _Red_.

* * *

 

"You..." He pauses, unable to process the information, "You found Master's body?" 

Marian Cross promised to never leave him. He feels betrayed. He feels like screaming and crying and ripping his pearly white hair out.

Instead Allen's diving down hallways like he actually knows where he's going. Heading for the coffin he knows will be waiting in _that_ room. He vaguely recalls Jeryy asking about his food, and Komui hollering something. Reever's in the room when Allen arrives but he doesn't beat the teen to the coffin.

A choked sob leaves Allen and he sinks to his knees and clutches Master's - _his second father's_ \- cold hand. He can't breathe and some part of him is in cold denial.

 _There's no way. This is just a bad dream._ His mind whispers, cold and tired and **hurt**. _There's no way Marian would die before he fulfilled his promise of that trip. Before we went back to Mother together. Before he finally said aloud that he was proud of me._

Allen sits there for a while, lips trembling, holding Marian's hand. Komui's talking to Reever but Allen finds he _doesn't_ care. Not when Lenalee, Lavi, and Kanda show up. Not when Timothy places a small cake next to him, and not when Miranda puts a small blanket around his shoulders and a small kiss on his head.

_Because this is the same thing that happened to Mana. This is his fate, his destiny._

Allen curls against the coffin, resting his head on the cold surface. Once, Marian created a language so that he could tell Allen things without getting in trouble with any overhearing locals or to talk about akuma and the church. In the language, Allen just rambles, "You know something? I thought of you as my second father. Even thought you were an asshole, and made my life hell, I really did. That one time in Fuji when you introduced me as Allen Cross… that made my year. To this day, I think I might like that better than Allen Walker. Something like Allen Mana Cross would work better for me."

He hears his voice crack with the weight of his heartbreak. _Allen_ doesn't really cry in front of others. _Red_ doesn't cry at all.

But maybe, just maybe, this time could be the exception.


End file.
